I’m on a mission you see, to see God at work in my life, by seeing those he places in my path. My desire is to reach as many people as possible without mentioning any religion, or putting out any religious mumbo jumbo, no I simply want to show love to others.

The day has come when you don’t need to go door to door, saying “KNOW GOD”, all will KNOW GOD from the least to the greatest. So my next couple of posts here will be different. There will be days, where I have stuggled and God has allowed me to overcome, days when I have been blessed and God has allowed me to stop everything I am doing to help another, days when I don’t want to mention God at all, but I promise these days will mean something to us all. Because I am writing them, to learn from them myself.

This new series of essays, is my way of simply sharing how I desire to see the world, and others. And my desire is to change this world, to have peace where there is pain, hope where there has never been. I want everyone to know, that no matter what is happening, IT IS ALL FOR THEIR GOOD AND THE GOOD OF THE WORLD!

I believe people are hungry to know the real God, the real Christ, or whatever SPIRIT you want to call the ONE SPIRIT IN US ALL CALLED “LIMITLESS LOVE AND LIFE.” I believe it is the day, where GOD is meant to be seen, heard, felt, and rejoiced over THE WORLD. The day when the weak will become strong in their compassion, and the strong will become weak in their greed and pride, and together they will help each other to come to the knowledge of the Truth and the stature or the perfect creation, which is our destiny, who we are and have forgot. GOD’S CHILD!

I will not force my beliefs on anyone, and I will do my best to only answer emails I get saying I am wrong, will a solid answer that will show love. Because we are all brother and sisters, we are all one, we are not separate and my goal is show everyone that. I believe that by doing this, more will know this and do this in return, and like a wild-fire it will spread, and then the world will finally know what REVIVAL IS! Not some carny show, where false healers shout about false healing, but people in their suffering can find the purpose and joy and peace of it all!

By showing them this love it won’t matter what faith they are, they will know God, regardless of what the name, they will know that what I am, they are too, and I, by looking for these moments, without great money, without greed deeds, will make a difference. Whether it be a simple talk at a counter, or what you are about to read below, the difference is going to be made. And people will understand how powerful, unique, and special they are, regardless of what they have been through, or currently are. They will learn that what they believe, they can become and what they believed they are. They will know their circumstances are there to help them understand they can rise above them, and finally let them go. Most importantly, they will understand they are not better than anyone, and this is when the last war will be won in their lives. Because they will have learned to give up the fight, and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

Just yesterday I wrote about rejoicing in my trials. About how as I sat in my house, watching the flat roof be repaired, our finances get a bit worse… well let’s just say a lot of debt. What I didn’t expect however, was after writing an article about praising God in the midst of the storm, and trusting there was a way out, that the VERY NEXT DAY, I would be getting such incredible stomach pain, that I thought I would die. I went to sleep, knowing it was my Crohn’s disease. Something I have had for years, since I was a teen. A serious case of Crohns, many blood transfusions, hospitalizations, accidents, surgeries, bowl resection, and too many horrible tests to recall. I suffered until I met my wife, then more trials would surface, this time in regards to my childhood, which I will get into at a later time.

But that is a piece of why I believe I got Crohns disease at 15, and suffered for so long. A disease where your immune system attacks your digestive system, the allegory of course, MY SELF DEFENSE mechanism attacking My DIGESTIVE SYSTEM, I hated myself, thought I was no good, so how could I possibly EAT OF THAT BREAD OF LIFE… But I also would go on to try to be the best at everything to gain approval, and this is why I accomplished so much. Because I believed my accomplishing something great would finally pave the way for people to love me, and I would finally feel worthy to be loved! Because I had been conditioned and programmed to believe I had to please everyone else, to which I found I was only rewarded with rejection, abuse, abandonment, betrayal, mocking hate, accusations, gossip, and other yucky stuff.

But isn’t it the saddest thing, to hear someone say, “the only way for me to feel worthy of love is to do something great.” The truth being, we are all great, we don’t need to work to be anything, we need to accept and love.

ADAM AND EVE, were already the image of God, they didn’t need to eat of that tree or do anything to become like God, they were BORN THAT WAY! And so are we, but we too, ate of this tree called, the cares of this world, the laws of religion, and man, and we too feel ashamed of who we are and hide behind out many works and accomplishments, or titles, or street rep, etc, as Adam and Eve hid behind their fig leaves, lost in the trees of their own imagination. Which is the world! So my CALLING, to quote a great book, called THE CALLING (HINT HINT HINT) is to “WAKE THEM UP FROM THIS SLUMBER!” Because TOO MANY PEOPLE, including those who have tried, and try to hurt me, even some reading this now, feel that they are no good, will amount to nothing, and need to prove to the world how great they are, because they feel so shallow. But like ADAM and EVE they simply forgot they already are perfect. I’m here to remind them. Because if no one in their life told them how good they are, someone needs to. If they are suffering and struggling, they need to know it is for a great purpose and that God has not abandoned them, but given them a oppurtunity to be a light in this world…

WELL THAT’S ABOUT TO CHANGE! Make me a Living Epistle to be read of all men, let ME, be an image of God in this world, and never let me say you must do this or that, let me simply tell other who they are at heart, and help them to remember, they aren’t their past, they aren’t their mistakes or what people have called them. They are GOD’S CHILD AND ABLE TO DO ALL THINGS IF IT IS DONE FOR ALL THINGS! So please enjoy a day on this adventure I began.

DAY 2: 1/20/2009

My pain got so bad, every other minutes it felt like knives were turning inside me. My beautiful wife all night, worried, in the morning she would call in sick and take me to the hospital. Boy was I in pain. The other day, I rejoiced at how hard things were, I didn’t factor this into the equation.

However sick I was, I KNEW many good things would come out of it.

ut I Praise God they are admitting me:) just what I needed, a time to heal up, no responsibility, people surrounding me who ONLY want me to get better. My wife rubbing my head and telling me how much she loves me, my kids so compassionate and not running around like 10,9, and 7 years olds do. No dogs to take care of, or workers to deal with and yes the drugs are nice tooooooo. 

In any event just got even better news while here, about our dream house. Now the Entire upper roof, not just the small addition roof needs to be replaced…. Wow, God is definitely moving in our life this year. Now some of you may find this hard to believe but this excites me. Because soon I will be writing a note about how good life is because of all I went through. You see, this is exactly what I want and wouldn’t change it at all, because i know not only will goodness and mercy follow me, BUT great things will come out of this and already have.

I have met one person after another who i just happened to say exactly what they needed to hear. One young man, got into a fight, he had been arrested times before, he’d sold drugs, did drugs, “did bad things” he said. I simply told him about his value and worth. I told him guilt will only create more things to feel guilty for later. I told him everything that he did, or happened in his life would make him the amazing man he was about to become. He had never been told such a thing, and he was so grateful, he went from being a young thug who thought himself to be good for nothing, to seeing that he was Gods child and could do all things, I showed him a small part of how unbelievable he is, and he wanted more. I thank God for this 25-year-old, whose rap name is Bighead… Or, the older nurse I spoke too, who overheard me talking to my wife, about how all things will, and already have worked out. The nurse was so taken by what I said, she told me how hard things were for her. And she left a different person knowing that it is only after the storm that our old nasty homes are rebuilt into the mansion we always wanted them to be. But if the storms would never come, we would have no reason to change or strive for more, and we certainly would never know how truly strong we all are.

When we trust in a God that is in control of all things and we look for the good that can come out of all we experience, when we look for the very good reason we are where we are, then we will find stories like these on a daily basis. When we rejoice in our sufferings, it doesn’t mean we don’t wish things could be different at times, it simply means we understand Gods wisdom and will is manifold greater than our own. In addition when we trust in that, we truly are being in everything and every circumstance a light in a very dark world.

I know there are so many that have a hard time seeing that there is so much good in what we call bad, but please tell me if the alternative is good news?

Would thinking that God doesn’t want you sick when you are sick give you hope? Does God not wanting hard times to fall on you but allowing it anyway, show you that God loves you?


Or can you for a moment say, “Okay, you know what God this sucks, but I’m here for a reason. I have purpose and good, will come out of all I endured.” By understanding this you won’t sit around saying woe weighs me.

It’s easy to say, oh you can’t choose your circumstances, but you can change how you see them. But I tell you there is more . And you cannot simply change your view of things until you understand there is a point to all you endure. If you can’t see that perhaps you drug addiction is to help others never need drugs, your paralysis is to teach other how to walk upright, your poverty is to teach others how truly rich they are, if you can’t see that your hardship could literally change lives wouldn’t you see the good in what you had to endure. Who is to say that, that young man who many might consider a thug on the outside was tired of feeling like a failure and had plans to end it all, then God afflicted me a man he knew wouldn’t curse him or leave him to speak to that lost boy. Who is to say that that conversation made a difference and that not only will he not kill himself, he will go on to find a cure for Crohns disease, which will save countless lives… All because God afflicted me for but a moment. Would one or two days pain be worth that? Would anyone who could see the end from the beginning ever complain again, when they see all the good that comes out of it? No way!

I don’t want my suffering and hardship to ever be in vain. And I refuse to believe a God of love would allow hardship and pain unless there is something good that can come out of it. So, armed with this faith, I will use my experiences to help others who are going through the same. I will tell them look for the opportunities God planted to water so they could grow into who they are truly and what they must remember they are, Gods beloved child! 

Dont look for JUST the silver lining, but the mountain of gold hiding in your trial, with the right eyes it won’t matter what you come up against You will learn to be free. Everyone wins when you Rest in God. 

To enter in Gods rest we must cease from our work. We have to take ourselves out of the equation. It is no longer I that live but christ. We learn so much through what we suffer. And that is always how it has been to those that have tasted of that heavenly fruit called tree of life/wisdom and faith.

In prison they sang praises to God and because of it, every cage was opened and every shackle came off. This world needs more heralds of the New Day! It needs more that say Thank you My Father for all you have given, thank you for the life you have given me to me and out of all you have give me I have lost nothing, beside my ignorant unbelievingly selfish greedy untrusting heart.

Now even though many heard the praises and songs, and even though the shackles fell, many stayed in their cell. And I am saying GET OUT! LIVE FREE as this is my hope and dream.

Now to do this, to trust in God, to keep above the ways of the world as Jesus walked on water, it means you must have the desire to get rid of everything you think you know and simply trust God, as when every storm came they threw out everything weighing them down. The only thing Paul told them to keep was the faith that they would LIVE, but only if they did this. So do this, will ya? 

Trust God who makes everything beautiful in its time. And it is high time we stop with the fear, shame, guilt, and hate. We simply need to discern properly…. Choose which God you will serve, one that doesn’t want unfortunate events to happen and allows them. Or choose the God that has a point and purpose and show you the great FORTUNE in it all.

RING, RING, just now I had a call from my amazing wife, she is worried because we don’t seemingly have the money for all of these repairs and reconstruction on the house that we have. But I told not only will we have what we need, we already do… “And how do I know this?” she asked. “Because it’s happening for a reason and whatever the result is it will bring us to a powerfully rewarding finish, that right now, even though it seems like another shoe couldn’t possibly fall, I say those shoes are falling for a reason, because blessed are the feet of those that bring the gospel (good news) …

We are all going to get through what we are going through, we all have to go through what we go through, but I promise you the instant you trust God and look for the treasures and lives you can touch all around, it is the your salvation from your troubles will be found.

Love God, Love Others, by Loving God you Love others, by Loving Others You Love God!

Much more to come – tomorrow – the responses I got. Some people, actually believe i could bring this, or keep this on myself. My answer, tomorrow!

Check out my novel at the link above, …..The Calling A Voice In The Dead Woods


  1. Tabitha January 29, 2011 / 12:44 PM

    Thank you for sharing your experiences, your insights and all that the Holy Spirit has revealed to you. I totally agree that what everyone in the world needs most right now is Eternal Life and to know that we are all created with a God-given purpose.

    My mission is preaching to the converted. I am always astounded at how little born-again Christians really understand about the gospel, about a relationship with Christ and about returning to a state of grace.

    Today a youth group at church whom I coach asked me what we could do to help a member who has failed her last year of high school. She is so upset, shocked and confused. She feels that God let her down. She believes she must have done something horribly wrong to incurr God’s wrath. She no longer wants to come to church- because what will everyone think of her? [and I’m going: huh?!]She is afraid she will lose her faith in God and His plan for her life. As far as she’s concerned, this just wasn’t written into her life script. [Well, when is anything we go through ever really written into the life script we made up?]

    People were saying: Pray for her; send someone who has failed and got through it to go and share their story with her; tell her that God builds perseverance in us through the trials we go through; remind her of what happened to Job; help her understand that God is most interested in our character, not our achievements;… all womderful suggestions but not what she really needs right now. The Holy Spirit kept saying to me: “She needs to see soemeone else’s real suffering and ability to rejoice in that, to see what God is doing in the life of someone who is truly committed to Truth, to gain a broader perspective so that she understnads there’s more to life than passing your exams or failing them.”

    All at once, I had the exact solution, the perfect answer.
    “Tell her to get a copy of The Calling” I said. “In fact, no- tell her I’ll print a copy of the e-book I received but she has to let go of everything her mind is telling her and really pay attention to the message- It’s a very important message, one every one of us should read and share. But for now, let her be the one to look beyond what she is going through to the heart of how God transforms us and then she can come and share her story and be an example to the rest of us.”
    So I now understand why I’ve been struggling to get a book review out for you! 🙂 Patience.. the one that’s coming should be really good.



  2. Sam Couch January 21, 2011 / 1:10 AM

    Hi Brother,

    Hang strong like you I have suffered pain for many years beyond what words can express but to the glory of the Father. I ask the Father to take me out of the work force here in this world so I could study His word with a whole heart and the next thing I knew I had a tree fall on me crushing me from the waist down.

    Picture yourself hitting your thumb with a hammer and how it feels. Well that was what I felt from the waist down. While in the hospital I would tell everyone I seen about the goodness of the Father and show them the truth when ever I had the chance. I was moved from floor to floor to doctors that were trying to save my legs.

    Never at any time did I ever think anything negative or speak of my conmdition I just filled every ear with the Fathers word in the Spirit. It got to the point when I was moved from one floor to the next the nurses would come to see me and when they were asked why they were on the floor I was on I heard them telling others this is the man that knows the Fathers word.

    I was on a morphine drip that should have knocked me out but I never once missed a chance to share the truth of the Fathers word. In all the negative things that were said about my condition I walked out of the hospital on my own to feet. My entire life is about me being mangled in some form or another.

    I fell 3 stories off a building, I have wrecked more cars that most people have owned in their lives and I mean serious wrecks. I had a head on with one car with me on my bike (motorcycle) that was fun. I hung my arm in a washing machine and was told I would lose it.

    I have looked down the barrel of guns fought with knives, broken bones, fell out of a truck doing 50, jumped into a swimming pool with a live extention cord in it, I have had 8 surgeries in 11 years just to hold me together and the list goes on.

    I was asked one time if I could change anything in my life what would it be? I thought about this for a moment and tolld the one who asked the question, I wouldn’t change one thing. Our Father has brought me through all this to make me the charater of person that I am for a reason and the way I see it He knows better thn I in how He is going to use me.

    What we suffer in the flesh many suffer in the mind. Knowing the truth we have peace but those who do not their pain is far worst than our could ever be compared too. Just think of the torment they go through in their minds that they would beg for the mountains to fall on them and the pain in their minds it would take for them to nash their teeth.

    No brother we glory in our pain because we know who is placing us in the right spot for someone the Father wants to hear His word it that plain and that simple. This body is not mine so I will not complain about what happens to it like I said the Father knows what He is doing.

    You are right we glory not in ourselves but in Him who sent us into this world. I sent you an email today describing a little about muself and man do I hate speaking of the flesh but it is the only way for others to relate to the things you and I go through for the glory of the Father.

    We are Christ’s and we were sent to suffer in the flesh so that others may live in the Spirit. We are no different than Christ because to are Christs. You, I and the Father are one and when we walk though this world many will ask the question “Who is that man” which is the same thing they was asked as Jesus walked in this world.

    Brother they may not know you but I know you and you are loved more than words can describe. Peace be unto you brother and know the Father and I are singing over you with great joy. Keep up the good work I have no need of speaking of your faith because you are one as we are one and He is one with us. Love Ya brother I always have.


  3. Gailia Ann Johnson January 20, 2011 / 9:39 PM

    Reminds me of the time when the Lord opened my eyes to the story of Samson. All at once I saw these words “his mother didn’t know it was of God” (my interpretation from memory) when he fell in love with the beautiful Delilahs, it was all to allow Samson to become BLINDED to the world that he may continue going around and around the same place (mountain as the Israelites) while all the time the glory(long hair) was returning. A las he is led as or is it by a little child (if we become as a little child) to place his hands on the PILLARS that UPHELD the government of man bringing it crashing down around their heads.
    So keep writing, keep believing, keep loving, keep showing compassion for all the while your hands, along with many others forming the true body of Christ or being placed on the pillars of the government of this fallen world. There truly is a new world order coming very soon for HE told me and it is the KINGDOM OF GOD!!!

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