BELIEVE AND RECEIVE
About ten years ago, I was going through many things emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. It was an especially hard time in my life, but also a very wonderful time where I learned so much about myself and others. I learned that you can never repay hate with hate unless you want more hate in return. I learned that you can only overcome the evil others wish to bring into your life by wishing good in theirs and doing good to those who do not do the same for you.
I learned to be grateful for what I had, even though I had lost so much, I lost my home, the new car, the furniture, my wife left me and on top of it all I was sick. During that time I had so little control over anything. All I could do was hold unto my faith that one day my children would be in my fulltime care away from the danger of my ex-wife’s convicted felon, addicted, steroid using and child abusing boyfriend, who she moved into my home while he was on house arrest within two weeks of me moving into a really small apartment. It was a terrible time and I knew my children were in danger, but I had no money, I was barely getting by to begin with so how could I possibly get my children? The answer was, faith.
Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done
I had done nothing wrong in my first marriage, although I am sure I wasn’t perfect, I knew I was better than most. I was a devote husband, a great father, never cheated, never flirted, did housework, made a great living, supported my ex in all things, I dotted all the I’s and crossed all the T’s, but my ex was just never in love with me. She had told me that it wasn’t me, it was her. The old line didn’t really play so well for me after almost seven years of marriage, a four-year old and a newborn. The first thing that didn’t make any sense was I had always been told God hated divorce. Even though I would learn the only DIVORCE God hates is when “we” divorce ourselves from God and ignorantly believe we are OUR EGO and that OUR EGO is in control. When in fact, who we truly are is beyond what any preachers, priest, rabbi, or guru has told you. We are everything and this is why we must project unto the world and others what we want returned.
“God is not mocked whatever a man sows he shall also reap.”
So there I was alone, broke, in and out of the hospital with my Crohns disease, my children around about the worst human being for them. I don’t want to get into details but imagine the worst person to be around children and that was my ex’s boyfriend who was also fifteen years her junior.
But instead of allowing anger, hatred and worse to grow within me, I began to pray for both of them. Don’t get me wrong there were many times that I wanted to hurt the sick young man who my ex was with, but hurting him and hurting her would never bring me peace. You don’t find peace at the expense of others, you find peace by doing what is right in God’s eyes. You only find peace by truly loving yourself and others, and that means your “enemies” as well. Because if truth by told if you don’t love who you percieve as an enemy, you don’t love yourself.
But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you
The reason we MUST love those we percieve as enemies, is because they are there for us to learn. In fact, we created them to begin with. We judged these people to be who we “feared” they were and they became exactly that. I know this is a tough pill to swallow but it does not mean it is not truth. If we judge a certain way, we will be judged by how we first judged. In other words, you get what you put out people. This is Jesus’ teachings is about the best advice in the world. A majority of Jesus’ teachings dealt with sowing and reaping, forgiving, and never taking revenge. The reason is a spiritual law that is at work in the world today. You will only receive what you first put out. You can’t get lettuce without first planting it, the nurturing it and allowing it to grow. The same is true for peace, you will never have peace in your life if you sow hate, anger, and revenge. You recieve what you first believe and set your heart to accomplish.
Back then my hands were really tied. Even though I knew what was going on in my old home I had no proof besides the terrible diaper rashes, bruises, and what my son would tell me. None of which held any weight because of his age. And all of the physical proof could be explained away, even though I knew the excuses were not true. Whether my ex knew about this or not I could not say, I hope for her own peace of mind she didn’t know. One time CPS was called on them, when I found out I was overjoyed but the investigation went nowhere, the agent never followed anything up and the person who called never came forward. It was a devastating time in my life, I felt so helpless. It was one thing to deal with sickness, heartache, and abuse when it was happening to me, but when it was happening to my children it was a very different and terrible hell. It also makes it very hard to trust that God has it all worked out and everything that is happening is happening for a very good reason. Nevertheless, I pressed on and soon I would find out how important this time was for me.
I knew that the only way I could protect my children, get my life back on track, and get healthy again was to start by being healthy within. So I set my sights on my goal, I pictured my children with me, I pictured myself in a new home, and of course I pictured my ex and her boyfriend, turned husband divorced quickly and both would get their lives in order, and more importantly the new husband would be out of my children’s lives for good.
You see, I couldn’t do more than I was doing. Short of kidnapping my children and moving out of the country my hands were tied. So I simply hung onto hope, I turned to God like never before. I spoke to many people about the faith I had, telling them within a short period of time I would have custody of my children, a new home, and more. I prayed for my ex and her new husband, but more importantly I cried out to God saying, “I can’t take this anymore, I can’t do this anymore, help me!” I was desperate. And then one day the call came.
The new husband was caught with his pants down, literally, the only problem was it happened to take place in front of my one year old daughter.
You see even though my circumstances seemed hopeless, God was bigger tha my circumstances and more importantly I firmly believe he was always in control of them, teaching me to stop putting my trust in mankind and myself but to trust that when I believe I will receive. I conditioned myself to only see good coming out of it all. I even had dreams about some big secret that would be revealed, I had dreams I would soon have custody of my kids even though there was no earthly reason for this to happen, considering we just got divorced six months prior.
You see I have long been a believer that if you do the right thing you will reap good things in return. If you do the wrong thing eventually you have to pay for what you have done. This kept me going, I knew eventually whatever was being done privately would be revealed.
What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.
We do indeed reap what we sow. I wrote once about God’s judgment. You see the OLD WAY of looking at things was an “eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”. Then Jesus came on the scene and cleared that up.
The problem was people believed THEY were the ones that had the right to excercise the judgment. That was their mistake. They thought if someone hurt them, you could hurt them back. The problem with this is, if you do the same thing to someone who hurt you then you are no better. If someone first tears you down and gossips about you and then you gossip about how bad they are and in return tear them down, you are as guilty.
Here is what people don’t understand, the “eye for an eye” law is indeed a spiritual law. The problem is mankind does NOT have the right to execute it. God will make what is wrong right. It is NOT up to us.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Here is the reason, these terrible things that happen to us are happening for us. And if I did not practice what many men and women of God before me preached, which is love, hope, and forgiveness, then my children wouldn’t be where they are today and nor would I.
Judgment is NEVER ours. Judgment is God’s. When we judge others and we stand in judgment and try to exercise judgment on others, we will get what we judged in return. Like thinking the worst in someone before they treat you bad, it is a good call whatever you believed about them they will become. This is why it was so important for me back then to see those that were hurting me and my children in a better light and trust that God would make things right. If their hearts wouldn’t change, then custody and my circumstances would.
And I did indeed receive what I believed.
To make a long story short, without a penny in the bank I would get custody of my children, I would move into my new home, my ex and her new husband would soon divorce and he would never be seen again. I would meet my true love, my new son (her son, my step son), we would be blessed by the home we have today, and we would have my baby boy Ethan who truly is a light in my life.
It wasn’t hate that brought me the life I am living today, it was faith, forgiveness and a conscious decision to think only on the good and to BELIEVE.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things
Now I wanted to share all of this to remind you that even when things seem the most hopeless and you are at your most helpless, there is always hope! BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH! With Faith everything is possible!
…If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you
Now when asked about all of this, the question could be, “Do you wish things were different?” The question could always be answered, “of course”. No one wants to see their children suffer, no one wants to struggle or be tempted to hate another, to see a family break apart, etc. However the truth is, today I love where I am and without all the manure heaped on top of my life at that point the flowers of faith that blossomed out of it would never be enjoyed. My children are strong, happy, and healthy, my wife is my rock, my step son is like my own flesh and blood, and my baby Ethan is an angel sent from God. We are a happy family and I would never trade what I have today for a better yesterday.
I thank God for it all. During that time I learned so much. There is something very revealing spiritually about losing everything you thought SEEMS TO matter in the world, to help you realize you lost nothing and gained EVERYTHING.
29 And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God’s sake, 30 Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting.
Well that was what this period of my life was. It was a time of enlightening and enduring, to be honest it hasn’t really stopped. I don’t think my awakening began when I first went to a church, but when I went through my most difficult trial. I had to learn that not only is God in control of my life but God is in control of my children’s life. That doesn’t mean you sit back and watch life pass you by without doing anything, it means you ONLY operate within the parameters of love.
You do not harm, you forgive, you continue to hold onto hope even when it seems all hope is lost. Because eventually you will reap what you have sown. This is why we must never give up hope. We must always speak our ideals into existence and believe that God and a rewarded of those who diligently seek him.
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him
Not only is it impossible to please God without faith, without faith it is impossible to please anyone and more importantly to be pleased yourself.
When people come against us, when circumstances are hard and beyond our control, DON’T GIVE UP! We need to never lose hope, we need let others know of the hope we have. We need to speak this faith out loud not just so others can hear it’s declaration but so we can HEAR IT OURSELVES!
So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God
This means we should only speak what is true, because we can only really ever hear what is true. And this is truth, God has only good thoughts for you. He does not give us the spirit of fear.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind
That means whatever you are going through every thought that has you worried, ashamed, or feeling hopeless, these thoughts are NOT from God. And if they aren’t from God they aren’t true. Stop saying you are a loser, that you are hopeless, that your circumstances will never turn around. What we believe we receive so stop believing lies and allowing them into your life. Instead, endure, hang on to hope and tell the world that good things are coming, because that is the life God wants us all to live.
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